I think for most people, Oct. 8 was ages ago. (That was the day I lost the baby.) But for me, well, this is only the 2nd time I've had a period since then, and... the sensation of monthly bleeding is similar to the sensation of losing a baby. Not nearly as painful, thankfully, but definitely a potent physical reminder. Also, my cycle has not yet regularized; 44 days the first time, 34 days this time... so obviously it is difficult to tell when i'm ovulating, which makes getting pregnant again a much bigger challenge than it was the 1st time.
so.
this morning was a little rough, but i got going anyways. i have 3 days off before things start up again, and i really want to enjoy my free time. Also i need to get rested up - work has been pretty busy/constant since october, and this tiny break is essential for my health... so, i moped a bit, and then spent the day in the kitchen - i made pasta from scratch, and also pasta sauce from scratch. yum! i guess one can have a pretty crappy morning, and still end up feeling pretty good at the end of the day - thank goodness.
now that i know what's going on with my cycle, hopefully we'll do a better job of guessing when i'm ovulating. i'm still not ready to use one of those ovulation kits - although if i'm not pregnant again soon, that will probably change. i realized today that the one thing i want in my life right now, way more than anything else, is to have a baby! hopefully this year, i'll get my wish.
