Update

Dealing with the aftermath of this miscarriage (on July 27) has been totally different than the one I had in October.  The last time this happened to me, I was back out in the public just 3 days later - and I was doing my regular day-to-day thing a week later.

This time, not so much.
I think it has a lot to do with how things happened - finding out that there wasn't a heartbeat, and getting on a plane the next day anyways, only to lose the baby during a layover at the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport. (Horrific!  See poem below.)

Today is one of my good days.  I've been able to have lunch out with Nick, and go to the grocery store, for the first time since being in Michigan, and I was ok!  Yesterday was probably the worst day I've had.  I spent the entire day in bed, and a lot of my waking hours in tears.  Sometimes when I'm crying, I'm thinking about our baby that didn't make it, but a lot of the time I'm just feeling sad/depressed/hopeless/out of control.  One of the hardest things that I'm experiencing is this feeling of being strapped into a hormonal roller coaster of intense emotions.  I can't seem to stop it or compartmentalize like usual.  I am being forced to confront it all, ready or not.

I made a list of my symptoms today to see them all written out in front of me.  If things don't start looking up pretty soon then, according to the research I've done online, I will be officially 'clinically depressed.'  Hopefully, today is the start of a turn-around.  I'm trying to not overdo it though, still trying to take it easy - one thing at a time.