Thursday, December 23, 2010

processing...

we've made it to Brush Prairie for our Christmas visit.  i've come down with a cold, like i usually do when i have a few days off.  i should know by christmas if i'm pregnant or not... it turns out that after you have a miscarriage, if you don't have a D&C (which i didn't) it can take up to 6 weeks for your period to show up again.  i wish i had known that... but i guess hindsight??  i've been feeling a little bitter lately; this poem came out of me yesterday so here it is:

Why is it - that -
once a woman has given birth
she looks different?

Is it courage or
survival
that changes them?

Is is knowledge?
knowing that you can carry a baby
full-term;
that must be nice.

I used to be pro-choice.
Abortion seems like murder to me now.
Aberration thrown in the face of God -
'this child?'  nah, I don't want it -
Vaccum it out, chop it to bits if you must.

mothers--
smiling wistfully.

(babes in arm
toddlers in tow
pre-teens in miniature Uggs)

tired and drained;
arrogant.

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